5090 by FAWM: "Take On the Night"

Take On the Night

Liner Notes

“Take On the Night” - #fawm 50/90 2024 song 31

I don’t remember where these lyrics came from last summer but I had to do a little revision to make the verses scan better with the melody that emerged today. Singing it for this first draft demo, I think it might be in the wrong key for my voice. It sits in a weird place. I’ll transpose it in practice and try a few other keys.

I have been trying to do different things with melody rhythm because I feel like a lot of my songs get very same-y but sometimes that makes it harder to hang on to my strumming rhythm or the internal and end rhyme flow. It’s an interesting negotiation, trying to keep the ideas working together.

This also works for the #idiom challenge to use a common phrase or expression in a song, given the opening line.

18 lyric drafts left to finish from 2023 skirmishes!

All my originals: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6mTUlPL-MmAm45IMVgat1necrh2mGnT6&si=sAdXP581ZNU__9rn

#fuc #acoustic #acousticonetake #ukulele #personwithukulele #onetake #girlwithukulele #singersongwriter

Lyrics

I wasn’t born yesterday
But I’m not too old to play
They’ve pulled the plug on us so many times
Might as well live up to their presumptions of our crimes

We’re gonna
Show up and sweat it out
Pull the poison past the bite
Dance like thunder falls
Take on the night, Take on the night
Take on the night

I wanna dance just this bright
Like we won’t run out of light
I heard from the moon and she’s up and out
I won’t ask you to whisper if something in you wants to shout

CHORUS

Be back in an hour, be back in a day
Come with me or dream it, your choice
Let’s push it so hard out hearts bump fast
Rather lose sleep than our voice

Ahh-ahh-ahhhhhh Ahh-ahh-ahhhhhh

CHORUS x2

Comments

@sdcpaman 6w

We are always our worst critic; I don't hear a wrong key at all or any of the other concerns you expressed in your liner notes. Really good song, both musically and lyrically. We're all choosing favorite lines below..."Rather lose sleep than our voice" is my choice. Terrific line!

@gm7 6w

Wonderful melody and very smooth vocal delivery. Great dynamics . I like this one ... well done.

@davidtaro 6w

No issue with the register/key for me, although appreciate sometimes it's more of a feeling when you're singing it. I actually think the nice rich tone you're delivering the held notes (esp in the chorus) is really powerful, which suits the powerful anthemic nature of the words and melody. Similarly with the melody rhythm/strumming, I can see what you mean but it's definitely worth persevering with as you've essentially written a very marketable pop tune here 😄 . Any moments where it felt a bit out of sync were very minor and probably more first demo-itis issues than problems with the song. For example, it felt like that line 'Pull the poison past the bite' (cracking line btw) was a bit of a rush on certain choruses, but on others it was perfect. Anyway, sorry for the long ramble. In a nutshell, really enjoyed the song!

@funnypunkband 6w

This song has a cool anthemic vibe, and I really like the way the chords build up to the chorus. It gives the whole piece a powerful energy. Great job!

@billwhite51 6w

you have such an original melodic sense that every song holds melodic surprises for me, but i can understand how from your perspective they might have a sameness that you want to transcend. your style comes through here bright and clear. i cant image anyone pulling the plug on you, and every tine you write a song, you are taking on the night.

@hmstreetteam 6w

I love the understated defiance, all the more so as it’s done as a leadership stance. That combination could be tricky, but this song makes it sound like the most obvious thing.

@paul_pedersen 6w

All sorts of good lines to choose from in your song, but here's my choice: "I won’t ask you to whisper if something in you wants to shout"

I really like your song and your performance doesn't sound like the song's in the wrong key. There's no strain to the voice. Everything comes off smooth and polished. Transpose if you want, but I don't think it's necessary.

@jerrypettit 6w

Not sure how you could improve on this. (I am such a bad "songwriting coach"--totally devoid of "try this" ideas when I hear a song that I already like a lot!) :-) ❤️

@sbs 6w

"I wasn’t born yesterday, But I’m not too old to play" - Ah, the sweet spot! I'll never be too old to play, although it gets harder to find playmates. But that's never stopped me - lol! Lovely vocals. Nice write!