Fictional Adult

by @dr_griff

Fictional Adult
dr_griff
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Liner Notes

#teamexecutivedysfunction #adulting #humor #silly #funny #filk

We've all heard of the functional adult, right? A meme I saw recently had autocorrect change "functional" to "fictional," and as a neurodivergent person, I think that's probably more accurate. Here's a song for y'all.

Lyrics

(Capo 1)
V1
G
I’m pretty sure you’ve heard of me
D
The one who does it all for free
C G C
With no stress or strain or need to flee
G D G
I’m the fictional adult.

V2
I have a checklist every day
I always know how much to pay
And how many minutes I can play
I’m a fictional adult.

Bridge 1
C
I’ve got life skills out the wazoo
G
I manage all my tasks with ease
A
And if you ask me how I do it
D D7
I’ll shrug and say it’s a breeze

V3
I know how to apologize
My time management is really wise
I really like to empathize
I’m a fictional adult.

V4
I wake up before the alarm goes “brr”
My day is set before I stir
There’s just nobody adultier
I’m a fictional adult

Bridge 2
I practice self-compassion
And my boundaries are fine
I take my care to ration
Every bit of my free time

V5
I’ve got this adulting thing down pat
I take care of my house, my car, my cat
My bills are paid and after all of that
I’m a fictional adult -
I mean, a functional adult -
No, I mean a fictional adult.

Comments

[avatar]
Very clever, and very relatable! This is jaunty and an utterly charming listen (I really liked that mouth alarm-clock noise!), but also expresses so real truths about how many of us (or at least I) still can't believe we're actual "adults" (and, in my case, have been for a long time). Very nice!
[avatar]
Nice and bouncy...I like the verse/bridge variation.

"adultier": love it, with a nod to Ogden Nash.
[avatar]
I really like the implied inclusivity for all of those struggling. This is fun, catchy, and works just fine. Functional, you might say.
[avatar]
@sbs
Fictional adult - lol! Love it!
[avatar]
Clever lyric, nicely musicated. You obviously have a great sense of humor and a way of making varied situations work for you. That's a great life skill!
[avatar]
Ha!!! So funny and I love the snazzy strumming to go with it. Nice work!
[avatar]
Very nice. I noticed you varied up the rhythm from some of your other songs, so kudos, I know you were trying to do that. It's incredibly catchy, and I was grinning through the whole thing. Memes are such fun song fodder.
[FAWM]