Fictional Adult
by @dr_griff
Liner Notes
#teamexecutivedysfunction #adulting #humor #silly #funny #filk
We've all heard of the functional adult, right? A meme I saw recently had autocorrect change "functional" to "fictional," and as a neurodivergent person, I think that's probably more accurate. Here's a song for y'all.
Lyrics
(Capo 1)
V1
G
I’m pretty sure you’ve heard of me
D
The one who does it all for free
C G C
With no stress or strain or need to flee
G D G
I’m the fictional adult.
V2
I have a checklist every day
I always know how much to pay
And how many minutes I can play
I’m a fictional adult.
Bridge 1
C
I’ve got life skills out the wazoo
G
I manage all my tasks with ease
A
And if you ask me how I do it
D D7
I’ll shrug and say it’s a breeze
V3
I know how to apologize
My time management is really wise
I really like to empathize
I’m a fictional adult.
V4
I wake up before the alarm goes “brr”
My day is set before I stir
There’s just nobody adultier
I’m a fictional adult
Bridge 2
I practice self-compassion
And my boundaries are fine
I take my care to ration
Every bit of my free time
V5
I’ve got this adulting thing down pat
I take care of my house, my car, my cat
My bills are paid and after all of that
I’m a fictional adult -
I mean, a functional adult -
No, I mean a fictional adult.
Comments
"adultier": love it, with a nod to Ogden Nash.