Split The Bill

by @jtsteam

Liner Notes

Prompted by this week's Ukulele Underground forum song theme of "Wine", this is a #ukulele #folk song about that most stressful part of dining in large groups, working out how to split the bill. #fuc

I promise I made all of these people up. Except Oliver. Dammit, Oliver. Every time...

Lyrics

Every month or sometimes more
We go out at the weekend
To eat at the restaurant
With our oldest friends

When the meal is over
And we've all had our fill
Someone asks the question
How should we split the bill

Well Ted and Mary had the specials in the two for one
I think there was a surcharge if you substituted prawn
Who had the steak, was it Angela or Bert?
If you didn't have a starter, did you have dessert?

If you only had the salad you should pay a little less
And they didn't include service, make sure you don't forget
Stephen just had water, the beers all were mine,
And I'm sure that it was Oliver who drank all of the wine

We've got napkins we can scribble on
To calculate the share
Jane is an accountant
She can check it's fair

Sarah's bus is leaving soon
So she's got to dash
But Terry needs to pay by card when
We're all using cash

Can we see the menu to remember what we ate?
Valuable drinking time is going to waste!

Ted and Mary had the specials in the two for one
I think there was a surcharge if you substituted prawn
Who had the steak, was it Angela or Bert?
If you didn't have a starter, did you have dessert?

If you only had the salad you should pay a little less
And they didn't include service, make sure you don't forget
Stephen just had water, the beers all were mine,
And I'm sure that it was Oliver who drank all of the wine



[avatar]

nice uke playing. Your song is spot on, I also remember all those friends who were the exact same friends as yours. Great listen.

[avatar]
@janeg

That brings back bad memories of co-workers who squabbled over pennies or refused to tip the server or acknowledge it was them who ordered the double scotch. But you’ve put it to such a fun tune!