Clarity of Mind
I dyed my hair pink cause I was starting to look too much like my mother,
But I did it on a whim so I ended up frying my hair with shitty drugstore bleach
And now my hair is dry and brittle and it feels like straw
So I just assume everyone’s making fun of me
I feel pretty aimless
I spend all my time sitting around, smoking weed in front of the tv.
Trying desperately to numb this pain inside of me.
I’d do anything, anything just to find some relief.
I work evenings at the front desk of a local hotel.
But I have no idea where I’ll be a year from now
Big picture I don’t know
I just need to move out of my parents’ house
And then I’ll figure it out.
Away from the place I was abused and traumatized
I can get some clarity of mind
But I know in a year I’ll still be living at my parents house,
Working the same dead end job with no way out.
I need the space to be able to really find myself
And not be constantly bogged down
By trauma and abuse
If it’s a cycle then I want to break the wheel
But it’s not that simple and I know I’d be a fool to forget that.