Trans Neptunian Objects

by @jtsteam

Liner Notes

I was away at the weekend and I came back with a load of lyrics that need turning into songs. Here's the first, and undoubtedly the nerdiest, one. I'm calling this #filk.

I'm sure at least a thousand nerds like me have written songs about Pluto's non-status as a planet. Well, here's the thousand and first. Really I just wanted to sing a lot of minor planet names.

This is with my 8-string baritone #ukulele and some other things. #fuc

Lyrics

For almost a century Pluto was
A planet, one of the nine
It had a sort of unusual orbit
But still they all got on just fine

But one day because of its size, they said
That's no planet, is it?
Then they decided to send New Horizons
To pay the dwarf a visit

Pluto was understandably miffed
To have been taken down a peg
And as the spacecraft did its flypast
This is what Pluto said,

I never wanted to be in your gang,
Even though you think you are so cool,
But we're the Trans Neptunian Objects and
There's more of us than of you

There's Eris and Sedna, Lempo, Varuna,
Gonggong and Niku and Drac,
Ixion, Orcus and Rhadamanthus
And thousands of others like that

I don't need to be part of your club
Me and my moons are okay
Charon, Styx, Hydra, Kerberos, Nix
We're happy out here with our mates

You can call me whatever you like
It's hardly sticks and stones
But we're the Trans Neptunian Objects and
The Kuiper Belt is our home

There's Eris and Sedna, Lempo, Varuna,
Gonggong and Niku and Drac,
Ixion, Orcus and Rhadamanthus
And thousands of others like that

There's Arrokoth, Biden and Farout and Albion,
Quaoar, and Ceto and Zhulong
Chaos, Haumea, and several with names that are
Hard to pronounce 'cos they're too long

We don't want to join your party
We don't care about your rules
We're the Trans Neptunian Objects and
There's more of us than of you

There's Eris and Sedna, Lempo, Varuna,
Gonggong and Niku and Drac,
Ixion, Orcus and Rhadamanthus
And thousands of others like that

There's Arrokoth, Biden and Farout and Albion,
Quaoar, and Ceto and Zhulong
Chaos, Haumea, and several with names that are
Hard to pronounce 'cos they're too long

We're the Trans Neptunian Objects and
There's more of us than of you



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"Zhulong/too long" is cute!

Yes, I've heard quite a few Pluto songs, but this is a very good one and a different point of view from the others.

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*tapping along* 😄 *feeling enlightened* 👍

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@beacon

I love the "I didn't want to come to your party anyway" vibe to this. Great write with so many references. I *love* the sound of your 8 string baritone ukulele, and must get one myself.

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Educational and fun. The upbeat tune is perfect and what great phrasing. Love when the harmonica comes in. Congrats on pronouncing all of those names. I came in because it is a great hook and this was totally upbeat and enjoyable!! PLUTO IS A PLANET, my grade school teachers said so!!!

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@fuzzy

Pluto will always be a planet to me, I don't care what they say. :(
Yeah, I wrote a song about Pluto a few years ago called "Requiem For Pluto", but it was not as positive and fun as this track you got here.
Good for you for getting all those names out without stumbling!
Charming ukulele track.
You made me smile!