FiNiku

It's been up for hours!
Fifty-Ninety on the go...
That must be my 'ku.

Not this crap again!
Ah, hell, who am I kidding?
It's good to be back.

I have learned four chords
So when I use them for songs
I'll have a spare one!

Three chords, in accord.
One sits it out, on the bench,
In sustained silence.

But not diminished
Waiting to be included
Augmented at last

Anything more than
Two chords and you're playing jazz.
So saith Lou Reed!

Don’t overdo it.
Take a walk on the wild side,
Two chords and a smidge.

Simpler than songs, these:
Poetic works without rhyme
Or, often, reason

Philosophy says:
"Reason is overrated!"
A lifetime's work, that.

Stoned philosophers.
They're not willing to accept
Living is lethal.

A quick translation
For our friends in the US:
Read 'Stoned sorcerors'

Enough of your source.
Everybody world-wide knows
Heinz Meanz Saucerers.

Foodfights are a threat!
US Military fears
The flying sauces.

Harry Potter's wheel
Learning to throw tableware
Saucer's apprentice

Saucers can fly home!
Kitchen nearly there! And next?
Violent violas.

A wolf family
Squashed by an IKEA box
That made two flat packs

My feet are stinky
Like I'm wearing skunks for shoes
I'm glad you noticed

Barking dog
So many balconies
Which one

Teenager kid
So much need
Sleep indeed

Some wives get high
On hidegger or worse
Choose wisely

Some wives get higher
On big Ikea kitchens...
Rather choose whiskey

So many new songs
There on my PC. But it's
KITCHEN GULAG TIME!

Boris Johnson quits
All good things come to an end
And all bad ones too

Sadly, the bad things
Are likely to kill us all
Long before they end. 😬

Seems the good die young
So that's why, Rupert Murdoch
Is still amongst the living

It's so pathetic...
Trapped by the Ikea man!
All that's left is 'ku.

Is there such a thing -
I hesitate to ask it! -
As Ikea-ku?

I'm sure it exists,
But I would fail to see it
('Cos it's in Swedish)

Political advice

If you're in trouble
Don't panic, just get a pen
And re-write your past

Ikea mothers
Is that possible
Time will show

The bee might have said
'This will hurt me more than you'
Before it stung me

…before it went home
and danced the flight path details
of that huge guilt trip

My advice to him,
Tho' to him it's just buzzing:
"Look, Bee! 'Fore you leap!"

Ikea kitchen:
Bees flee the construction. Why?
Beelzebub rises.

Songs want to be born
Also, students want their grades.
Look! A new plug-in! 😀

Which side won the war?
Too soon to say. Ask again
In a hundred years

War is just about
The dumbest thing humans do.
We are animals.

Cruelty to the beasts!
It takes culture to make war.
Humans win at that.

There's some animals
That do very beastly things
But they don't use guns

Nature is always at war
Is there anything else
Humans doubt endlessly

John was prejudiced
He also had two bottoms
Such a bi-assed man

So, what you're saying
Is John spoke falsely, that he
"Couldn't give two craps?"

Did God subcontract
The creation of insects?
Bugs everywhere!

I saw it coming
A deadline! I found some sand
And buried my head

So peaceful the scene:
Head sunk deep in sand, serene...
Then the tide came in

There in my mirror
There's the face of an old man
How did he get there?

But in my mirror
There's a face of a stranger...
Curiouser, yes?

3 Questions

Reflective question
What is shown in a mirror
When no-one's looking?

Where does the light go
When you shine a torch at night
Into the future?

Will you still need me
Will you still feed me
When I'm out of jail?

Torch light in your face?
The torch you see has long gone:
It's all in the past.

At the tunnel's end
I saw two very bright lights
A tunnel vision!

Meh - COVID gave me
Tunnel vision. Stupid eyes.
A built in light show. 😬

First eye surgery
An internal puppet show
(Anaesthetic failed)

Yay! This is the life!
Spent all day writing haiku!
(Whoops...here comes The Wife...)

'I wish I could fly'
That's what many people say
When stuck in airports

"I wish I could plumb"
This is not a metaphor:
Old house with old pipes.

Ah yes, old houses
Where nothing's a standard size
Everything's awkward

Old houses are not
Places where you can just fit
IKEA kitchens

Ikea haikus
tend to mingle
with whatever

what's a haiku
if not a rhapsody
in a while

Our _very_ old house:
Prayers and libations have worked!
IKEA just fits.

In a madness fit
I wrote a whole libretto
Starting with haiku

The silly tailor
In a fitting of madness
Made a silly suit

He Willie sailor
In a fit of grogness
Made a willie quit

The grog drove him mad:
Willie quit as a suitor,
Chased tailors instead

(Finally some time
But the music brain is shot.
Stop viola jokes!)

My profile contains
Three songs titled 'I'm not sick'
I am, in fact, sick.

That's sick as in sick?
(how English gets perverted!)
Or sick as in sick?

My conscience tells me
I should be sympathetic
But...haiku logic...

I know, right? I know.
I should be writing music
And not this drivel!

In expiation:
I'm waiting for the flash floods.
(My levees should hold)

We are all waiting
For flash floods or something else
To test our levees

basho had a dollar
spend it on wine and whores
full moon of course

Every scholar
Should shoot a decent haiku
At gunpoint

Scholar long ago,
Officer and gentleman...
Found it didn't pay.

What's the diff between
Scholars and ideologues?
(Venn diagram here)

a haiku scholar
lost in the woods
what to do

Pause, count syllables
Become at one with the trees
Start to put down roots

Many ways to count
Syllables get in the way
Dying in between

I counted the gaps
But that didn't protect me
I still fell through them

It's Monday morning
A weekly, mini New Year
Small resolution

It's Saturday morn
And my gaps grow, so I blame
My erratic course

Friday night grows still
A red button is depressed
It's time to record

It's happened again!
I have surrounded myself
With half-finished songs