Do you play your songs for family and friends?
The other day, I played one of my new songs (a silly one) for my wife. And a few weeks ago, I played one for my wife and our daughter. But those are the only ones I've shared with anyone beyond you all.
I used to play for them a lot more, and our daughter has helped me write a few songs over the years. I don't think that's happened since she started college in 2020 though.
As for friends (of which I really only have a few), it's been years (well before Covid) since I was at a gathering with guitar in hand. I used to take part in a semi-regular song swapping group, and they would actually ask what I'd come up with.
I'm not asking about gigs, where there's that performer/audience separation. I'm quite comfortable with that. I'm wondering if any of you play your songs directly to those you are close to.
I play them for my husband all the time, he can't run away.
Yes, Mrs. Fuzzy likes to listen to all of my tracks (I can't really "play" them as they're mostly soundscapes and such).
My bandmates know I participate here but show zero interest in my output or getting involved themselves.
If it wasn't for all of you lovely people showing the love I would probably give it up altogether.
My wife listens to maybe one in five of them, and sits through them with a kind of weary magnanimity. I rather pathetically share about the same amount - about 1 out of 5? with a pool of about ten people as I don't want to bother anyone too frequently as I imagine it becomes very boring.
No, only this community is willing to listen to my tracks. The only place to share is here. And thats why to me and my creativity this forum is so important! I am really grateful for that!
My family doesn‘t like my music and shows zero interest.
@mandolinda - My wife probably hears my songs as she drifts off to sleep, but I wait to record until she's in bed or out of the house.
@brisk - "weary magnanimity" made me smile. And made me wonder about how my wife would respond if I played one in five of my songs for her. My ratio is more like one in twenty!
Way back in 2008 and 2009 (my first FAWM and 50/90 years), I ran most of my songs by wife and daughter, because they were mainly the kid/family folk-rock I was doing at the time.
I'm relatively new to sharing my music, so this is all still a bit awkward for me. At least I'm now old enough to no longer be ashamed and simply stand by what I do.
My wife isn't interested. She says she'd like to know about it and listens when I ask her, but never actively shows any sort of interest on her own. But then again, she rarely ever listens to music.
My son, 11 years, shows more interest in @jtsteam's funny ukulele songs than in my stuff. So we're having more fun laughing about his super lyrics than listening to my songs.
My daughter, 5 years old, used to hate my music. Recently, she asked to listen to the ongoing production of Have You Been That Child, _again_, And she actually grinned and clapped when I heard the master of Won't Kill Me Twice.
Oh, and I apparently had one listener from the company I work for. Probably accidentally had my SoundCloud tab open in the background of an online meeting... At least I got a handful plays from the company's home town. Since I never heard from him/her, I assumed they weren't interested.
The rest of my people have no clue that I'm writing songs at all. I'm thinking of posting my SoundCloud page on Instagram or Facebook to let them know, after 50/90, just to see what comes back. Probably awkward silence. Or a polite pat on the shoulder, burying the topic once and for all.
My personal impression is this: The nearer the people, the harder it is to win them over for your music. It's like the nearness puts them in a situation where they'd rather ignore what you're doing than getting into the embarrassing situation of having to tell you that they don't like it.
(Know the movie Monsieur Claude and His Daughters? Where they put up their daughter's paintings only when she visits? 🤣)
So I very much enjoy being able to share things on a neutral ground like here, where people can easily ignore me or tell me they don't like my stuff. 😀
This reminds me of a former member here who unfortunately no longer posts.
He was a fabulous delta blues-type player, and so talented. I remember him saying that his wife and kids were actually actively hostile towards his music.
I think I'd rather just live with the indifference.
People know I do music, but I don't oblige them to listen. Some enjoy, some don't. I'm happy it's rather about taste than quality. I still think most of my listeners are my fellow musicians, as we implemented a kind of listening circle over the years. I'm always curious about comments from somebody outside my bubble, still wondering where and how these people found me. But the demos here, are only for you!
I used to. I was naive in thinking they wanted to hear it.
I don't tell people about my music or try to get anyone to listen anymore.
Outside of this community, unless someone asks me specifically to hear something, I don't share.
I might post something on soundcloud, but I don't run and tell everybody that I did so.
I share the same belief that @florianhoffmann does - "The nearer the people, the harder it is to win them over for your music. It's like the nearness puts them in a situation where they'd rather ignore what you're doing than getting into the embarrassing situation of having to tell you that they don't like it."
well....i abuse my wife with my songs...just ONCE after i post them, during fawm/5090 we usually knock this out on a car ride to the grocery where there is no escape from my sonic vengeance... i love my wife lol
95% of my friends (admittedly not a HUGE number of people but still...) are musicians that i regularly play with (some for 20+ years now) and they ask what i've been working on and we show each other songs and then work on new ones together.
the other 5% of people i know, that i do not make music with, i only share on request.
It can be difficult coming to terms with the fact that friends and family are just not interested in our hobby! But I always remind myself that this goes both ways. Am I interested in their hobbies? Typically only casually or to engage and be kind. And furthermore, what we do here is kinda crazy, right? If someone in my family had a hobby where they created 50 things over the summer and wanted/expected me to be interested in all of them I guess that would just be too much for me too! :)
So, I don't ask friends and family to listen to my music. I only inflict my music on you folks! And for your kind indulging of me, I am forever grateful!
Less often than I used to. I am now in the 'plays upon request' category, and this started pre-COVID when I posted in 5090 about performance anxiety, which is actually highest when playing in front of family and close friends. That said a request to hear one or two of my songs does happen, maybe once a year or so these days.
My husband is my first set of ears. My step dad was always so supportive of my music (he bought me a keyboard for my 7th birthday and taught me 3 chords on the guitar). He and I used to sing while he played guitar from the time I was about 2 (my mother said I didn't know the words but faked it anyway). As time went on, we would entertain the family with him on guitar and us singing together. One of the last times I saw him, he was sitting in my "studio" asking about my keyboard and saying if I did an album, he wanted a copy. Unfortunately, he died before that happened. When I met my dad, from a family of musicians, he was more impressed with my novels than my music, because what's one more Holmes musician - lol?
interesting thread- for me its been kind of diminishing returns-- several of my friends were more interested a few years back, but I think i've been doing it for so long its kind of 'taken for granted' or 'the novelty has worn off for them' or something. Which is understandable, but also makes me a little sad, for no other reason then I think my stuff is alot better now then when I started out 25 or so years ago....
It's interesting to hear these things! Like a lot of people, I generally don't inflict my songs on my friends and family, although my partner sometimes has to hear them (and claims to enjoy them at least sometimes :)). But in the end I'm doing this to amuse myself and if I amuse or entertain anyone else in the process then I'll consider that a success. Usually this community is the first (and only) that will even hear most of them...
So of course that means I'm delighted to hear that @florianhoffmann's son has been enjoying my silliness. Thanks!
I agree with @johnstaples that fam, and friend don't share the same enthusiasm as us musicians. It's a hobby for me but I'm sure that we all would love for the world to hear our stuff..but that's life . My sister listens to a few that i forward, hoping it is in her taste zone.
Thx god for the 5090imly.. When I listen to other peoples songs on 5090 i can commiserate with the time and effort it takes to write, record and lay your soul out for other people to hear. Challenging but rewarding at the same time.
Thx to my extended musical family.
@jtsteam you have a major fan @florianhoffmann's son...well done!
my daughter is my biggest fan...but then again she can't escape, especially on a car ride..😁
My family isn’t interested in my music, but my chosen family of filkers have international Zoom circles every couple of weeks and are always willing to hear my new songs. But not all of my lyrics get music.
@florianhoffmann - Like you, most people I know have no idea that I write songs, let alone the volume of songs I write!
@johnstaples - Interesting point of view, that people aren't interested in other people's hobbies unless they share them. I'm also a gardening/landscaping enthusiast, and I have one or two conversations per week with other gardeners.
@gm7 - my daughter is also my biggest fan, and she too grew up not being able to escape my music. But I don't think she wanted to!
She thought I was a real rock star around the time she was in kindergarten, when I was doing a lot of local performing. Later. she helped me write a bunch of songs, and sang on some, too.
Before she went off to college, I taught her ukulele, and now she occasionally plays for her friends. Maybe she'll carry my torch!
No. I can't endure that kind of pain.
My wife and kids are often in the room when I'm creating and will often offen creative criticism.
For the pst couple months, I have posted a song a week on my Facebook page, so my friends and family could listen if they wanted. I get mixed reactions from people. My friends are mostly seniors who are quilters, and they like the folksy homespun styles that I create. I posted the blues/Garageband song, and no one has commented on it. But everyone always comments on my quilts, so I know they listen. Hmmmm.
I do my first album was about my family and second about my wife pretty limited audience but captive haha.
If You want to Give my Albums a listen here are the links:
I think this is a special group of motivated musicians. It takes a special audience to appreciate amatuer art or art that's still being developed.
I think most musicians (and 100% on non-musicians) do NOT care to hear or think about the fact that other people are out there out-working them.
And my girlfriend asks me every day to hear what I came up with. She's ultra-supportive of my work and my taking some of our free time to do it. It's a great thing.
I've sent select ones to one family member cause she's the only one who would take the time to listen and respond. Not that the others wouldn't but they're really not online much. Same with friends. a couple of them.
but the best was 2021 FAWM where I wrote a song about a stop sign in my basement. I sent it to my brother and he let me know where it actually came from!!